and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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