dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
