just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
