It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
