Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
