It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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