He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
