I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
