Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
