i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize