One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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