return my video game
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize