Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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