Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
worst night to have a conscience
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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