Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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