are you still at the devil's house?
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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