maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
