I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
