Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
