I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm at about main and main street
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
