grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
