Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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