in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
