Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
