I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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