i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
