also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize