Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
