It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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