big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
