So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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