no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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