I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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