I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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