I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
