i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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