Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
