I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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