I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Plan B is the new Plan A
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
