Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize