she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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