There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
