I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I cockslap morals
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
People in love make me want to vomit
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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