Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
