Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
