I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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