i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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