Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
