i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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