So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
