What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
