At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
