the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
