ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
