can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize