playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
