Cold hands, warm shart.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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