Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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