im about as happy as oj after his trial
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
