The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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