Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
