eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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