If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just want to make out with him forever
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
