we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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