his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
