love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
