if only i could text you this smell
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
