I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
