I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
