Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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