hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
