I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize